listen up, y'all; it's about to get serious. and by serious, i mean this: mike huckabee is a fucktard. if you are offended by that word, thank sara donnelly for permanently fixing it into my lexicon. maybe you haven't been following the race for nomination or the caucuses very closely, and you're thinking, "why is mike huckabee so bad? he seems cheerful." well friends, let me steer you in the direction of this:
now, if this weren't legit, it would be funny. however, huckabee is really into having chuck norris endorse him. i realize of course that this election seems to be rife with celebrity endorsements (thanks to oprah, i think every white woman in america will now be voting for obama). nonetheless, i appreciate a candidate who takes his/her campaign seriously. this is not achieved by spouting off "chuck norris facts" written by a fifth grader in your campaign ads. the fact that chuck norris is your two word solution to border control does not make me want to vote for you, mr. huckabee. it does confirm my previous assertion about you (see above).
chuck norris aside, this guy is very upfront about wanting to put jesus back in his place: the oval office. i think the last thing this country needs is a baptist preacher furthering us along our path to righteousness in the heathen middle east. i really don't care what he believes in, as long as he keeps it to himself and doesn't use it to say, overturn roe v. wade, put prayer in school, or cast gay people out onto their own island. after all, as the bible says, "when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you" (that's from the book of matthew). the point is this: it is unfair to base policy on your personal religious beliefs instead of what is actually best for a nation of culturally and religiously diverse citizens.
anyhow. it's not just the chuck norris and the praise jebus that get me in a tiffy. there are also such things as his love for guns, his plan to scrap income tax and have 28% sales tax (which i think would really destroy my life as a waitress), and of course: his hatred of my gay homosexual mom and her lesbo life partner.
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